All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
