Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You were trust falling into bushes
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
