wat bout pragnant strippers??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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