Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
