She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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