I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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