very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
