if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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