Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
