i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
