Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
