omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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