Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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