They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
