She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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