TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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