can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
