I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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