Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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