It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
