Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
