so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
