Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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