it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
