Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i drank out of a bidet.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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