your thong is hanging out like whoa
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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