I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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