it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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