Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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