P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
