Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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