Are we in a gay sports bar?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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