I'd wear matching sweaters with you
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
