new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
