do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
