Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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