I bet he comes in French.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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