Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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