Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
