I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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