All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
