ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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