I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
