I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
