if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
