I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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