i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
