Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
