dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
