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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
