He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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