I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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