i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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